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leadership

clergy burnout, pastor

Proof being a pastor is a tough job

pastor

As the pastor, I’m shaking hands with church goers after worship one Sunday, I talk with a congregant about meeting him during the week. His reply?

“I thought pastors only worked one day a week!”

Truth be told, we full-time (and part-time pastors) do not work one day a week. I work anywhere between 35 and 75 hours a week. My congregation expects a full-time, ordained, college educated, graduate school 90-credit hour trained, and spiritual pastor to lead the congregation. And so, I provide that. However, there are unspoken and unwritten expectations:  my wife and children share in the full life of the congregation, I give 10% (and more) of my income to church, I’m available 24/7, be an excellent preacher, sound teacher, be a chaplain, be a theologian, providing counseling, give financial leadership,  bring people to church, and sometimes even clean up a mess in a common area.

If you ask me or my colleagues, it’s tough being a pastor.

If you think I’m just complaining and think I have cushy job, don’t take my word for it. Take Forbes Magazine’s top 9 toughest leadership roles into consideration:

  • #9: CEO, lots of pressure for profit
  • #8: Congressman/Congresswoman, everyone (sometimes including your mother) hates you
  • #7: Newspaper editor, sorry that your job is almost extinct
  • #6: Mayor, “Unlike most politicians, you actually have to make sure that garbage gets collected, snow gets shoveled, and things get done.”
  • #5: Pastor/minister

Other than #1 on the list, Forbes collected the most cons of being a pastor:

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Associate Pastor

5 things associate pastors need to survive

survive

The work of an associate pastor often does not receive the high praise or support compared to their senior pastor. Associate pastors have the challenging task of supporting the mission and vision of the church under the leadership of their senior pastor. Often, in the course of this supportive role, associates experience disagreements and their frustration can undermine staff synergy.

Church leadership and senior pastors need to realize the unique nature of associate pastor ministry. In my book, The Work of the Associate Pastor“,  I write about how many fail to see one thing: the power dynamic in the analogy of “second chair” is fundamentally flawed. Associates often are forgotten in the work of the church. There are several key support mechanisms that need to be in place for associate pastors:

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Associate Pastor

Don’t forget about associate pastors

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Last week I spoke to a group of associate pastors at a continuing education program with the  American Baptist Churches of New Jersey. This group of associates was very diverse demographically, but they all shared the same challenges.

I started speaking on the topics of identity, calling, and role of the associate pastor. Then, several folks brought up other associates books, “Leading from the Second Chair” or “Second Chair, Not Second Best”. Though I’m pretty enamored with “The Work of the Associate Pastor“,  I spoke about how those other books fail to see one thing: the power dynamic in the analogy of “second chair” is fundamentally flawed.

As I shared with this group of associate pastors that the power dynamics of #1 verse #2 pastor is not helpful. Ordering pastors with numbers frustrate associates into seeing themselves as lesser instead of seeing themselves into a different calling than their senior pastors. The relationship between the senior and associate pastor should be one of mutuality. Obviously, there is a supervisory role that the senior pastor must take, but that doesn’t mean that pastors cannot treat one another as equals.

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Church Leadership

The stress of the movable Sabbath

Someone at church once asked me, “When is your day off?”  I replied, “Friday.”

“Wow.” He said. “I wish I could have Fridays off. Must be nice.”

“Well, I don’t many Sundays off. That must be nice to have a Sunday or a full weekend off.”

The reality for most ministers is that Sundays are a true “workday” – we labor. Leading worship, preaching, greeting, teaching Sunday School, marriage counseling, Bible studies, and church meetings occupy most of my Sundays (as well as my weekdays).  And why not? That is what pastors do, right? Sure. It’s what we are supposed to do.

But, it is not always easy.

As the only full-time ordained pastor on staff, it’s hard to get away for a weekend. Most families enjoy graduations weekends, beach or lake weekends, reunions, weekend family celebrations, camping weekends, friends weekends, or even that ultra cheap last-minute fight to Miami for the weekend.  I hardly ever do those things. For me, I have to plan weeks and months in advance to take a Sunday off.

Sunday is the Sabbath Day for most Christians but for ministers, we need more true Sabbaths. A weekend with a Sunday of rest from our labor, which is ministry. A weekend where we are not counseling, preaching on Sunday, visiting people in the hospital on Friday, attending a meeting Saturday morning, officiating a wedding or funeral on Saturday afternoon. Sometimes, that Sabbath Day for me is Saturday. Other times it is Monday.

As a pastor, I have a movable Sabbath.

A movable Sabbath is convenient but it is stressful. Having a day ensures a type of rest but not knowing when that day will be makes my family life unpredictable. Sometimes, I don’t get a Sabbath let alone a weekend. Daily staffing needs, counseling, trouble shooting urgent demands, congregant frustrations and mediating conflict every day of the week are typical requirements. It’s a constant crescendo of events. It’s exhausting. My labor comes home with me everyday. It never turns off. My wife, children, and even some friends, have a connection to my labor at church.

I covet and miss the freedom to block a weekend for my family and my friends on short notice. Sure, there is the vacation week, but I miss a lot of important family and friend events on weekends because Sunday is a fixed ministry labor day. The stress and demands and fulfilling so many expectations leaves me drained. When I come home for my day off, I have nothing left to give my immediate family.

In posting about this stress on Facebook, a few friends had some responses to Sabbath and stress. My friend and mentor, Charlie Updike posted:

One of the things I’m aware of at the end of the journey is that I wish I had taken a Sabbath approach to the Sunday work and take a Sunday off every seven weeks…that is still preparing and preaching 45 Sundays a year.

Another minister, Liz Lemery Joy posted,

I began taking a hard look at that beginning last February. I creatively had to cut back a little. It’s hard to do in ministry… I schedule set times for rest in my calendar now. I believe we need to incorporate the Sabbath rest- in order for God to be able to minister to us, get refreshed and energized

A member at my last church had the best advice (Thanks Scott!):

Tickets to the Washington Nationals…….road trip, hot dogs, cold beer…..come back refreshed and ready to save some souls!

This year I decided to do something different. I took advantage of some family gatherings clustered together. I’ve told my church leadership that I need this time. It is stress-relieving and very fulfilling. We leaders and ministers need to plan for the sustaining practice of intention-fixed Sabbath weekend rest.

social media

Church uses vandalism for social media message

What do church leaders usually do when someone vandalizes the side of a church with graffiti? Cover it up, repaint, or remove the vandalism. A church in Randolph, New York was recently vandalized with the words, “Can I still get into heaven if I kill myself?” The church responded in a remarkable and unconventional way.

Grace Episcopal Church allowed the vandalism to stay, but the church added their own reply:

churchheaven

The above picture circulated around Facebook and Twitter with folks generating a conversation about spirituality and community.

Elizabeth Drescher at Religion Dispatches covered the story and found out why the church responded in this way and how it relates to modern religious expression:

Rather than approaching the tagging as a criminal act, however, church leaders decided to take the graffiti seriously as an expression of something spiritually meaningful—a cry for help.. They approached it relationally, using the church building itself as a social media platform, and responding with their own message of hope.

It’s the story of a fairly traditional church actively recognizing that religious doubt, religious critique, and all manner of theological questioning that once would have been seen as belonging squarely within the clapboard walls of a village church unfold in a much wider, much more broadly networked universe.

What started as a process to respond to church vandalism turned into a broader conversation on social media. With hundreds of shares, likes, and comments on Facebook and Twitter, this church’s vandalism response sparked mostly positive reaction. Some of the replies on the church’s Facebook post tell of the conversation around suicide, religion, and young people:

“As a pastor who has lost a young adult son to suicide, let me add that the forum is 100% appropriate and the response is as well. Song lyrics or no, any indication that an individual might be contemplating suicide needs to be taken with the utmost seriousness.”

“I’m not of this faith, but I really respect and admire this response. It goes beyond religion for me. It comes down to basic, good old-fashioned human kindness, which, sometimes, is the one thing a desperate person needs.”

“This is what I got from this message (go ahead and kill yourself God loves you) should have been worded differently indeed! And so as long as I ask for forgives before I kill myself its all good right.”

“I think the response was great — people in that much pain need to know that not only does the Church love them, but that God loves them. Who knows, this might be just the turning point that this person needs to know that people and God cares”

“my experience working with suicidal people is that the thing that might encourage someone to get help is the sense that someone has heard them. We also don’t know if the person who painted the original message is suicidal or whether the are in profound grief after someone else’s suicide… or if something completely different is going on. You can’t really counsel an anonymous message written on a wall – sounds like the parish is doing the best they could have done under the circumstances”

This story is a lesson in leadership. Rather than react with, “Who would dare do this!?!” The church was proactive and asked, “Why is this person hurting so much to do this? What can we do to reach out in an equal response?” Many Christians and churches are quick to judge, but we must find creative responses to brokenness — as Jesus did.

Christianity, Leadership

Why Pope Francis is good for Christianity

pope francis

As Pope Francis starts his papacy, it is very clear that his leadership will set a very different tone for the Catholic Church. Upon leaving Rome, Pope Francis paid for his own room, rejected lavish apparel, and referred to himself more as a bishop and less as Pope.

At a time when priest scandals, closing churches, and aging membership threaten the growth of the Catholic Church, Pope Francis is starting his tenure on a positive note. In the face of alleged papal scandal and a retiring pope, Francis has decided to change the tone of the Church’s messaging. Last week, Pope Francis reminded Catholics that Jesus, not the pope, is at the center of the Church. He added that the center should focus on “poor, and for the poor.” Even the selection of his namesake, Francis of Assisi, invokes compassion, peace, and uplifting the poor.

At 76 years of age, Pope Francis is comparably young. This newest pope will need the energy to galvanize the Catholic base and gain the trust of the disfranchised. However, Francis is doing more work among Christians in general, not just Catholics. The sex abuse scandals not only eroded the trust of faithful Catholics, but also with the general population. Public polls show that lawyers and bankers are more trusted than clergy. The perception among the “nones”, who make up 20% of Americans, is that churches and organized Christianity is not worthy of their attention.

It appears Pope Francis is setting a new tone for 1.2 billion Catholics. The tone is not centered in doctrine, Church law, or hierarchy but on bringing unity to the Church and caring for the least of these. The LA Times interviewed one of the faithful and compared the last pope and current pope:

But devotees have been agog at the complete contrast in style between the two men. Benedict tended to be stiff and reserved in public, unlike Francis and his engaging manner. Benedict “distanced people, but this one — you can tell from his expression — he makes jokes, he is closer to us,” Lorenzo Tortorati, 33, said, adding: “He’s what you need for the church.”

Protestants and Catholics share a close historic relationship. And, the two sects have influence one another. The Reformation created a Counter Reformation. Vatican II brought the church to the modern world as Protestant churches were growing. Catholics and nominal Catholics have been looking for a positive leader who can bridge the divide of theology and ecclesiology.  Ashley McGuire with The Washington Post expresses the mood of Catholics and Protestants:

Pope Francis, meet a generation of young Catholics longing for you. Longing for someone to show us in the most tangible of ways that the Catholic Church defends the most vulnerable among us, be they in their mother’s womb or hungry in the streets.  Meet a generation of Protestants looking to see Catholics assure them that our faith is first and foremost about Jesus Christ. And what could remind people more of Jesus than seeing a man with authority take that authority and bend it like Beckham. Bend down on one knee and wash some feet.

Indeed, we Christians (Catholics and Protestants) have a common denominator in Jesus Christ. Pope Francis is good for Christianity. His leadership will help the followers of Christ to do the things that Christ commanded: Feed the poor, visit the sick, uplift the lowly, protect the weak, and proclaim the Kingdom of God.

Pope Francis is that type of John Paul II pope who Catholics celebrated and Protestants could agree with. Francis will bring Catholics into the future and we Protestants can join with them in the common cause in the name of Jesus Christ.

Church Leadership

Poll: Most Americans feel connected to local church

In an age where cries from denominations about declining membership and church participation, a new poll offers some encouraging news on American’s feelings towards their congregation.

A Rasmussen poll found that 54% of American adults feel at least “somewhat connected” to their local church. In addition, 34% said they are “very connected.” The poll did not ask respondent’s religious affiliation. However, the poll did match responses to political connection questions. About 42% said they are not at all connected to a local political party. On the church side,  25% they have no connection to a local church.

The survey also provided some other interesting results:

  • 35% of adults said their strongest personal allegiance is to their church
  • 31% said their strongest allegiance is to their country.
  • Only 30% of Catholics said their greatest loyalty was to their church, while 38% said they were more loyal to their country.

Aside from political allegiances, this study shows that most Americans feel a connectedness to a local church. Perhaps that may be the drawing power of a non-denominational church. No overarching identity that is in conflict with local values. As mainline churches are declining in membership, many independent churches are seeing an increase in attendance and membership. Mega churches are an example. At sizes measuring in the tens of thousands, they dwarf many smaller denominations.

This is a opportunity for church leadership to wake up and start seeing the local church as the key connection for communities. Focusing on the local impact of the church is what makes people want to come to a particular church. Folks want to feel connected to their community and to God. Food pantries, after school programs, youth ministries, community service, and other missional opportunities are ways churches can grab hold of people looking for faith.

The question for local religious leadership is, “What are you doing to actively help people in your community feel connected to your church?” If church leadership cannot come up with ways to encourage connection, then their church will increasingly find it difficult to retain and attract new members.

 

Church Leadership, Pope

Why the Pope’s resignation matters to Protestants

Surprise and shock are an understatement when it comes to Pope Benedict XVI‘s resignation. Only a handful of Popes have called it quits. The Pope’s decision continues to spark speculation about who the next leader of the Roman Catholic Church will be. This decision will have far reaching impact for Catholics around the world… and certainly for Protestants.

As most readers know, I’m not Catholic. I’m an American Baptist clergyman. I come from a tradition that fought to continue the reforms of the Church of England. Baptists were one of the many English separatist groups that wanted to go further than breaking ties with Rome. Separatist movements during the Reformation were, in general, about freedom of religious expression, freedom to interpreted the Scriptures, and to free themselves from Rome’s hierarchy.

Some 400-500 years later, the Church in Rome and it’s Pope still matter to Protestants. Though we Protestants are free from persecution, this new Pope’s election will impact the way we Protestants interact with our Catholic brothers and sisters. As much as we protestants distance ourselves from the Catholic Church, we are connected common belief and ministry.

In recent years, ecumenical relationships formed between Protestants and Catholics have strengthened. Beyond sharing common basic doctrinal beliefs, (The Trinity, Salvation, etc..) Protestants and Catholics are getting better at how we treat one another. Mostly because of leadership within both traditions. Much of how this new Pope leads the Catholic Church will set a tone throughout Christianity. Protestants will wait to see if this new Pope will begin a period of transformation. Will we see more ecumenical acceptance of marriage, sacraments, membership, and ministry like the Catholic agreement with Reformed churches on Baptism?

If this next Pope leads Catholics to more common ground, we could see a new wave of Catholic and Protestant relationships. Think about it our challenges are the similar: shrinking memberships, public perception, changing church demographics, declining evangelism efforts, and diminishing financial giving. If more could be done together our common challenges, we could share common success. Measurable success could be made globally and nationally with ministry among the poor, basic health care access, developing nation building, fighting injustice, and access to education. The cause for the common good could something that we could work together on.

This is not without problems. There will always be groups within our own traditions that will fight against such “togetherness”. We Baptists are known for our exclusionary behavior when it comes to differences in theology with other Protestants. However, if leadership from our Protestant groups can commit to working with this new Pope and his leadership, our challenges can begin diminish.

This new Papal change is an opportunity for transformation for Catholic and Protestants. If both Catholic and Protestant leadership  plan to work together in our common struggles, a new chapter could be written for Christianity. A new Pope could lead his faithful to turn their attention to breaking down our separation instead of seeking to build more doctrinal walls.

Leadership

Why leadership and ethics are the next big thing

“I choose Business Ethics” – Billy Madison

In the movie Billy Madison, young Madison (played by Adam Sandler) must out wit his rival to take control of his father’s company. Billy Madison picks the category of ethics in a winner-take-all contest because he knows his opponent lacks any sense of fairness when it came to business. The immature Billy wins the day because his opponent breaks down under the pressure of a sense of right and wrong.

If Bernie Madoff, Enron, Bear-Sterns, and the sub-priming lending disaster are our examples of business ethics, then our culture could use more business ethics.  Recently, Slate posed the idea that teaching ethics in business school is a tough proposal, but a needed one. Ethical failures cost companies… a lot.

There is a shift occurring in the world of business and organizational operation. In the 1980’s and 1990’s, middle management was a prime focus in business. Somehow and someway, managing people became the norm for companies. Do people and problems really need managing? It seems managing people and problems is more placation than about leadership. Leadership has more to do with moving organizations and people forward towards a goal or idea. Management has more to do with keep things kosher within a business or company.

The MBA, the recent standard of middle to upper business/organizational management, is beginning to see changes – hopefully for the better.  Most programs teach students how to run a company or business, but few teach how to lead people… a more complete concept. Years ago, the trend was to crank out problem managers rather than making leaders. Xavier University is one of the growing schools focusing on leadership and ethics, rather than cut-throat profit and get-ahead tactics. Here’s the program in a nutshell:

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Church Leadership

Robert Griffin III, the Redskins, and dying churches

rg3It was awful. It was embarrassing. I couldn’t watch it anymore.

My team, the Washington Redskins had started a good fight against the Seattle Seahawks on Sunday night football. The Redskins came out strong and scored 14 points quickly. My team was looking like they were a sure win to continue into the NFL playoffs with strong momentum. I was hopefully that my Redskins were going to taste a Super Bowl after 20 years.

And then, a Redskins fans greatest fear came to reality.

Robert Griffin III our star rookie quarterback, who was not 100% healthy, sustained hit after hit and injury after injury. Mean while, the Seahawks put together a multi-quarter drive to put points on the score board. As it happened, RG3, became weaker and weaker. His passes were ineffective and his signature running game was just a limb jog to the sideline.

Ugh. It was like watching a train wreck slowly.

“Is anyone going to do anything about RG3!?!”  I yelled at the TV.

Passes were misfired, plays were broken up, and interceptions occurred. The play-maker for the Redskins was hurt and no one seemed to do anything about it. Finally, the game was lost.

Immediately, fingers start to point as to who was responsible for RG3’s unhealthy play. It was the coach. It was RG3. It was the team doctor. The list went on. It seems that the team leadership was simply concerned about winning and not about the long term health of the quarterback

How could this happen?

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