A recent Pew Poll and study among 18-25 year-old adults found that parenting is more important than marriage. The majority of Millennials, (generally those born between 1982 and 1995) about 52%, said being a good parent is “one of the most important things” in life. About 30% said the same about having a successful marriage. This Pew Poll points out that there is a 22 percentage point gap in the way Millennials value parenthood over marriage.
Sometimes called “Generation Y”, Millennials differed from their Generation X counterparts:
When this same question was posed to 18- to 29-year-olds in 1997, the gap was just 7 percentage points. Back then, 42% of the members of what is known as Generation X said being a good parent was one of the most important things in life, while 35% said the same about having a successful marriage.
What does this mean?
I’m sure by now every one has heard of Al & Tipper Gore’s separation. The former vice president and his wife have publicly said,
“This is very much a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together following a process of long and careful consideration,”
While divorce or separation of couples after 40 year of marriage is rare (in fact less than 1% of couples divorce after 40 years), it makes us wonder why such a couple would separate? The typical responses come to mind: They are such a happy couple. They have been together for so long. They have been through so much! Remember the “Convention Kiss of 2000?”
Writing about the Gores, Ellen McCarthy at the Washington Post said it well:
They’re like the couple down the block with the lush garden and the annual Labor Day cookout. The pair who are always power walking together and drinking wine on the front porch, who make you nudge your husband and say, “See? I want that.”
However, I was absolutely shocked at what I read next in McCarthy’s article:
There is a story that we pastors often tell stressed couples before weddings to make them laugh:
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the priest with an unusual offer.
“Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor, and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out.”
He slipped the priest the cash and walked away. The wedding day arrived.
When it came time for the groom’s vows, the priest looked the young man in the eye and said,
” Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?”
The groom gulped and looked around and then said in a tiny voice, “I do.”
After the ceremony, the groom pulled the priest aside and yelled,
Does God promise you a spouse in the Bible?
.
..that was the question that Rob Eagar over at thelife.com proposed recently. His post tried to answer this question in the affirmative. Many evangelicals through the years have often painted a picture that God promises a spouse to all believers. Except there is one problem, no where in scripture does God make this promise.
Eagar said:
Does God promise us a spouse? The Bible says “yes” by describing Christians as the spiritual bride of Christ. Our true spouse is Jesus. Yet, many of us say, “I’m glad to be spiritually married to Christ, but I can’t feel Him. Wouldn’t it be better if I could enjoy God’s love with someone else? I want Jesus with skin on.” So, we pray for God to bring us an earthly mate.
This type of theology has created a generation of frustrated Christian singles. No where in scripture does God promise a wife or husband to a believer on the sole basis that they are a Christian. Christians are not the spiritual bride of Christ. The spiritual bride of Christ is the Church (ecclesia). Some would say Christians make up the church, thus Christ is our bride. Maybe (that is pretty loose theology), but not in the erotic sense. However, scripture is clear where we get this “bridal theology” from, such as Ephesians 5:25:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Here, Paul speaks about the love that exists between a husband and wife and mirrors that love in non-erotic language (Paul uses agapate to describe this love) to describe the relationship between the Church and Jesus. Agnieszka Tennant, writing for CT, posted this article about the over use of love language with Christ. Her most telling quote reveals the trouble with the over use of the love language of God:
(I use the term “Christian Wedding Crashers” as a tongue and cheek way of referring to those people who are not typical church member seeking marriage. Please do not be offended. This is a light hearted term that some Christians have used for this situation. I do not believe these people are really crashing a wedding. Please keep reading. )
“What an awesome wedding! You did a great job. You opened new doors
for us into Christianity.” – is the comment that I heard from a wedding I once officiated. Over the years, I have been conflicted by couples who come into my office asking me to officiate their wedding. Normally, I have no problem doing a wedding for a church member or Christians who do not have a church home. What has been a growing trend for a number of pastors, including myself, is what to do with non-Christian weddings?
Many Christians have been troubled with what to do with Christian “wedding crashers”, which are those people (who some Christians deem to be conflictual) who do not meet the “typical Christian” engagement period. The typical Christian premarital situation looks like this:
Watch this wedding processional… it received over 1 million hits on youtube when I watched it on Friday. Now, it has received over 8 million hits. It is most likely something you have never seen at a wedding.
This video is also here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0&feature=player_embedded
Most people would watch this video and point out that this is a creative and joyful way to have a wedding processional. The Washington Post has written an article discussing this video. Some Christians might believe that this wedding processional is a mockery of the wedding ceremony. In an age where marriage is being redefined by culture, this video does not seem outrageous. I am conflicted about this wedding video. Let me explain.
Dance has been a universal act of joy in almost every culture through the ages. King David danced before God with all his might in joyful celebration when the Ark of the Covenant was brought into the assembly of Israel in 2 Samuel. Obviously, David did not dance with sunglasses on. Thus, these two dances are different. The dancing done in the video was well planned. This wedding party was expressing their joy of two people in marriage.
