5 phrases that frustrate Millennials in church

In an age where Millennials in church are a scarcity, long term church members often find trouble with how to relate to newer church goers. No matter if the young people are Millennials, or Gen-Xers,  younger church goers and members must be encouraged and allowed to take leadership roles. With 66% of Millennials in church say that churches are hypocritical, church leaders need to understand that cultural church language and behavior are important.

With all of these considerations, here’s what send Millennials in church running from churches in frustration:

“Oh, just you wait.” Wait for what? Do you want to give me constructive advice or do you want to complain about your past? This statement divides young from old: you have not experienced what I have experienced. You must learn the same things I had to learn. Often, this advice is unsolicited and unwanted.  Everyone takes their own journey, but let’s help Millennials and younger people in their journey and not try to project our past on their future.

“We don’t do it that way.” Why? Why don’t you do it that way? Why can there not be another way to run Vacation Bible School, small group ministry, or youth group? When Jesus told the 70(or 72) in Luke 10 to go into the villages and without bags or sandals to bring peace, eat what is given to them, and cast out demons, the 70 did not say, “Ah, Jesus, we don’t do it that way.” Creativity and new directions are at the heart of the Gospel from Paul on the road to Damascus or Peter’s proclamation at Pentecost. Millennials in church need to be encourage to explore new ways to share Christ with others.

“We have always had ______.” Is that a reason to continue something? Just because it’s always been done? If Henry Ford believed this he would have been out of business continuing making Model-T’s. Henry Ford did not make Model-T’s, Henry Ford made transportation and he knew that. Millennials in church want to do and lead things that make a difference in people’s lives and don’t want to something “just because” its always been done. Every ministry should have a purpose statement.

“Well, I heard that…”  Stop right there. Millennials do not want to hear gossip. They do not want to be triangulated into personal gripes. They do not want to spend their already limited energy on trivial matters. 44% of Millennials attend church to be closer to God, not to be distracted by meaningless conflict.

“We have child care for a reason.” This is a clear message: Your kids are bothering me and they are unwanted in this space. This is a condescending way of telling young people that childcare is available. That’s great child is provided, but there are some legitimate reasons why parents cannot or choose not to use the childcare. Remember this, some churches have no children. The fact that children are present shows that their parents/guardians are committed to their faith development. Honor the presence of children and make it easy for families to come to the church building or gathering.