5 Lessons Learned from Weinergate

I think we knew all the long that Rep. Anthony Weiner sent “that” (eww) picture through Twitter.  His ambiguously worded answers to direct questions regarding his involvement in sending lewd messages and pictures made us all suspicious. His behavior was bizarre, but we have seen Weiner lash out before. And, yes, the Weiner jokes have supplied talk show hosts with endless material for comedy.

This has been embarrassing for Weiner, his wife, and their families. It’s also embarrassing for us! Gosh! A congressman can’t control his urges and flirts with woman online with pictures of his body? Both Democratic and Republican parties have had naughty politicians, so we cannot say it’s about liberals or conservatives. It’s really about confronting our flaws.

Through this whole scandal we have learned some things about ourselves and our society:

When do something wrong own up to it immediately. Any college public relations text book tells you to admit to your personal public failures before someone outs you. People are more forgiving if you take control and have the character to admit you betrayed personal and public relationships. Weiner would have been better off admitting to his indiscretions immediately.   His embarrassment is now more painful because he did not only lie to his wife, but to the American public.

Social media has made it easier to pursue secret lives. What would take hours of lies, plans, and cover up to engage in an affair, now just takes a few clicks. Facebook, Google, Twitter, and other websites have made it so easy to a have veil of secrecy. Weiner used Twitter to send pictures and talk suggestively to women. Our connectivity to people is on demand. (Related, read my Facebook and Marriage post)

Powerful people are tempted too… probably more so than the rest of us.    When people assume powerful positions in our world, they are tempted to use their power in self destructive ways. Not all of us can with a phone call summon someone to bring us Starbucks, introduce legislation, meet with world leaders, or change the direction of the country.  When you start to realize the power you have, you are tempted to manipulate that power to feed your vices.  Sure, we are all tempted with money, power, sex, and control but it is more readily available for celebrities, politicians, and company executives.

People will continue to disappoint us, but we must continue in relationship. Alienating people because of their mistakes or failures is all about self preservation. It’s messy to continue a relationship with someone when everyone hates the transgressor. Everyone will be shocked that you are hanging out with a known walking embarrassment of a friend. Certainly, Jesus made many relationships with sinner, drunks, tax collectors, and the like.  We might not be called to be their best friend, but we are certainly called to continue in a relationship.

Everyone needs a mentor. Who is supporting Weiner through this? Who are his mentors or advisers?  I’m sure Weiner’s staff is full of people with the goal of pursuing their and Weiner’s political future. We need to surround ourselves with some people who can disagree and keep us honest.  We need a few people in our lives that we can confess our downfalls to.  We must not be so egoistical or insecure that we cannot take some direction or constructive criticism from our friends or mentors.

Let us learn. Let us process. Let us reconcile. Let us heal.