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The stress of the movable Sabbath

Someone at church once asked me, “When is your day off?”  I replied, “Friday.”

“Wow.” He said. “I wish I could have Fridays off. Must be nice.”

“Well, I don’t many Sundays off. That must be nice to have a Sunday or a full weekend off.”

The reality for most ministers is that Sundays are a true “workday” – we labor. Leading worship, preaching, greeting, teaching Sunday School, marriage counseling, Bible studies, and church meetings occupy most of my Sundays (as well as my weekdays).  And why not? That is what pastors do, right? Sure. It’s what we are supposed to do.

But, it is not always easy.

As the only full-time ordained pastor on staff, it’s hard to get away for a weekend. Most families enjoy graduations weekends, beach or lake weekends, reunions, weekend family celebrations, camping weekends, friends weekends, or even that ultra cheap last-minute fight to Miami for the weekend.  I hardly ever do those things. For me, I have to plan weeks and months in advance to take a Sunday off.

Sunday is the Sabbath Day for most Christians but for ministers, we need more true Sabbaths. A weekend with a Sunday of rest from our labor, which is ministry. A weekend where we are not counseling, preaching on Sunday, visiting people in the hospital on Friday, attending a meeting Saturday morning, officiating a wedding or funeral on Saturday afternoon. Sometimes, that Sabbath Day for me is Saturday. Other times it is Monday.

As a pastor, I have a movable Sabbath.

A movable Sabbath is convenient but it is stressful. Having a day ensures a type of rest but not knowing when that day will be makes my family life unpredictable. Sometimes, I don’t get a Sabbath let alone a weekend. Daily staffing needs, counseling, trouble shooting urgent demands, congregant frustrations and mediating conflict every day of the week are typical requirements. It’s a constant crescendo of events. It’s exhausting. My labor comes home with me everyday. It never turns off. My wife, children, and even some friends, have a connection to my labor at church.

I covet and miss the freedom to block a weekend for my family and my friends on short notice. Sure, there is the vacation week, but I miss a lot of important family and friend events on weekends because Sunday is a fixed ministry labor day. The stress and demands and fulfilling so many expectations leaves me drained. When I come home for my day off, I have nothing left to give my immediate family.

In posting about this stress on Facebook, a few friends had some responses to Sabbath and stress. My friend and mentor, Charlie Updike posted:

One of the things I’m aware of at the end of the journey is that I wish I had taken a Sabbath approach to the Sunday work and take a Sunday off every seven weeks…that is still preparing and preaching 45 Sundays a year.

Another minister, Liz Lemery Joy posted,

I began taking a hard look at that beginning last February. I creatively had to cut back a little. It’s hard to do in ministry… I schedule set times for rest in my calendar now. I believe we need to incorporate the Sabbath rest- in order for God to be able to minister to us, get refreshed and energized

A member at my last church had the best advice (Thanks Scott!):

Tickets to the Washington Nationals…….road trip, hot dogs, cold beer…..come back refreshed and ready to save some souls!

This year I decided to do something different. I took advantage of some family gatherings clustered together. I’ve told my church leadership that I need this time. It is stress-relieving and very fulfilling. We leaders and ministers need to plan for the sustaining practice of intention-fixed Sabbath weekend rest.

blog, social media

I’m moderating #chsocm tonight

I’m moderating #chsocm on Twitter tonight @ 9:00 p.m. If you are a church-ie social media type, just join in on Twitter with the search and hashtag #chsocm.

A lot of you are wondering, “What the heck is #chsom?” It’s Church social media. #ChSocM (ch-sock-em) is a weekly Twitter-based chat about using social media to build church and faith. Welcoming, informative, ecumenical. Tuesdays, 9PM, ET. Commentary, interviews, transcripts, and fun stuff on the blog.

My good Facebook/Twitter/Pinterest friend Meredith Gould started the Twitter chat topic/community about 2 years ago. Since then, it has grown into a weekly meet up for lay people, pastors, seminarians, and social media church geeks (that includes me).

Don’t be a non-participate observer! Join in! (I loath the word “Lurker” or “lurking” for social media listening. It’s too creep-stalker-ish. See you tonight on #chsocm!

social media

Church uses vandalism for social media message

What do church leaders usually do when someone vandalizes the side of a church with graffiti? Cover it up, repaint, or remove the vandalism. A church in Randolph, New York was recently vandalized with the words, “Can I still get into heaven if I kill myself?” The church responded in a remarkable and unconventional way.

Grace Episcopal Church allowed the vandalism to stay, but the church added their own reply:

churchheaven

The above picture circulated around Facebook and Twitter with folks generating a conversation about spirituality and community.

Elizabeth Drescher at Religion Dispatches covered the story and found out why the church responded in this way and how it relates to modern religious expression:

Rather than approaching the tagging as a criminal act, however, church leaders decided to take the graffiti seriously as an expression of something spiritually meaningful—a cry for help.. They approached it relationally, using the church building itself as a social media platform, and responding with their own message of hope.

It’s the story of a fairly traditional church actively recognizing that religious doubt, religious critique, and all manner of theological questioning that once would have been seen as belonging squarely within the clapboard walls of a village church unfold in a much wider, much more broadly networked universe.

What started as a process to respond to church vandalism turned into a broader conversation on social media. With hundreds of shares, likes, and comments on Facebook and Twitter, this church’s vandalism response sparked mostly positive reaction. Some of the replies on the church’s Facebook post tell of the conversation around suicide, religion, and young people:

“As a pastor who has lost a young adult son to suicide, let me add that the forum is 100% appropriate and the response is as well. Song lyrics or no, any indication that an individual might be contemplating suicide needs to be taken with the utmost seriousness.”

“I’m not of this faith, but I really respect and admire this response. It goes beyond religion for me. It comes down to basic, good old-fashioned human kindness, which, sometimes, is the one thing a desperate person needs.”

“This is what I got from this message (go ahead and kill yourself God loves you) should have been worded differently indeed! And so as long as I ask for forgives before I kill myself its all good right.”

“I think the response was great — people in that much pain need to know that not only does the Church love them, but that God loves them. Who knows, this might be just the turning point that this person needs to know that people and God cares”

“my experience working with suicidal people is that the thing that might encourage someone to get help is the sense that someone has heard them. We also don’t know if the person who painted the original message is suicidal or whether the are in profound grief after someone else’s suicide… or if something completely different is going on. You can’t really counsel an anonymous message written on a wall – sounds like the parish is doing the best they could have done under the circumstances”

This story is a lesson in leadership. Rather than react with, “Who would dare do this!?!” The church was proactive and asked, “Why is this person hurting so much to do this? What can we do to reach out in an equal response?” Many Christians and churches are quick to judge, but we must find creative responses to brokenness — as Jesus did.

God

CNN’s Wolf Blitzer: Did you thank the Lord?

As stories come out of Oklahoma’s terrible tornado that left dozens dead, one cable anchor received an unexpected response from an interviewee.

CNN’s Wolf Blitzer interviewed a survivor only to find that she did not share the same religious beliefs:

“We’re happy you’re here. You guys did a great job,” Blitzer said to Rebecca Vitsmun

“You’ve gotta thank the Lord, right? Do you thank the Lord for that split-second decision?”

 “I — I’m actually an atheist,” she said.

“You are. All right. But you made the right call,” Blitzer said.

“We are here, and I don’t blame anyone for thanking the Lord,” Vitsmun said.

Was it improper for Blitzer to ask such a question?

How do you think the interviewee handled the question?

Respond using the Facebook window below or the comment box at the bottom of the post.

 

Art

Is this art or sacrilege?

When does art cease to be art? Where do we draw the line? Case in point: A naked street performer took a ride on a moped with a cross. The artist called his performance art. That has some Christians up in arms. Unfortunately, someone took pictures.

This dude must be Superman to carry a cross of that size.

And then there’s this one:

Again, super human strength.

Brian Ashcraft incorrectly identified a cross is a crucifix. A crucifix is a cross with Jesus on it. A cross is without a dying Jesus. (The word “Crucifix” comes from Latin word, cruci fixus meaning “one fixed to a cross”.)

So, what would drive someone to do this? The performer said,

“Every time I finish a run, I always check online to see what people online are saying about me,” said Li. “The internet creates such a wonderful way to interact, and I really want to see what others think of this thing I’m doing. It makes conversation online.”

So, is this art or sacrilege? Comment below via Facebook or Disqus.

social media

The social media blackout

Blackout

Social media can take a toll on your life. Keeping up with Facebook, Twitter, and other networking sites is exhausting.

On average Americans spend just as much time on the Internet (13 hours a week) as they do watching television. That adds up to 26 hours — a little more than a day of our week — spent in front of a screen.

We can suffer from social media. Managing several social media accounts while holding down a job and life can be taxing. Social media is a world of instant communication and demand. We can’t possibly keep up with the check-ins, pictures, internet memes, Words with Friends, internet news, and Twitter trends.

Sometimes, we need a social media blackout. Usually, a social media blackout happens when a company or celebrity has an embarrassing moment and they go silent on Facebook and/or Twitter. Example: Anthony Weiner, and his… ahem, Twitter problem. After everything went down, Weiner went silent on his active Twitter account.

The social media blackout I’m thinking about isn’t because we have done something wrong but because we need a break.

Taking breaks or sabbath is a requirement in life. Just as our bodies need rest, our minds do too. From time to time we need a mental health day. A day where we disconnect from the craze of the world and focus on things that we love. Walking, reading, spending time with family, or going to a movie are all things that help us refocus.

Taking a social media blackout from the dependence on technology harks back to the day when humans relied on their own skills and gifts. A social media blackout helps us to realize that meaningful connections are made through relationships, not digital networking. True love and friendship are found with time spent together, and not through a computer.

For the next two days I’m doing a social media blackout. No Twitter, Facebook, e-mail, or Foursquare check-ins. I’m going to a monastery to do some reading and writing. To recharge.

Do you need a social media blackout? How have you taken a social media break? What practices do you find meaningful during a social media blackout?

social media

In the wake of Boston, social media heals

It was last week American experienced its first terrorist act through the lens of social media. Millions turned to Twitter, Facebook, and other social media networking sites to gain information on the bombings in Boston. During 9/11, many turned to TV and radio to seek information but in 2013, social media led the way in information and healing. This is a different internet age.

When the bombs when off in Boston, I was driving my friend Gary Long to the airport. Gary checked his iPhone and said, “A bomb went off at the Boston Marathon.” Immediately, my Twitter and Facebook media feeds contained with first hand accounts, information, and pictures. At times media reports were riddled with errors and misinformation. Our culture’s need to immediately digest information fed inaccuracies.

Quickly after the bombing, social media was ablaze with pictures and stories of regular people rushing to the scene of the explosions. There was something different about this act of terrorism. The shock was lessened by bystanders heroic action rather than fearful reaction to the explosions. The emerging story on Facebook and Twitter was not about details of death, grief, and loss but stories of healing, hospitality, and love. Google quickly set up a missing persons exchange to find loved ones in Boston.

Facebook messages of prayer and sentiments of grief for Boston filled my feed:

 

After the wake of the Boston bombings, social media became a tool for American to heal. A tool used to gather together as a digital community. Social media became the mechanism by which people shared a common grief and a common resolve to heal. The pictures and stories of average people doing powerful things to save lives gave us hope. Social media brought us together. We all saw the pictures, witnessed the tragedy, and experience grief through social media.

In the end, the power of social media brought us together to pray, cry, and mourn. But, we didn’t stay mournful long because our collective social media conscience encourage us to respond with healing and prayer – not anger or fear. As we move forward as a country, social media will increase our sense of national community and will play a greater role in healing.

Culture

Breastfeeding in church?

breastfeeding in church

I’m a pretty big proponent of moms doing their thing. Moms deal with long hours, spending most of their time with kids, and generally have a thankless job. They work hard for no or little pay!  Mamas are great. My wife is one. Some of my best friends are moms.

Apparently in Fort Worth, Texas, a mama battle is brewing. It breaks my heart that folks can be so harsh on the mamas. And, the battle surrounds a church, of all places. WFAA.com reports:

Three simple letters — “Ick” — set off a firestorm after being published as part of a response to a question about the propriety of breastfeeding during a church service… The article — titled Distracting Behavior — resulted in hundreds of e-mails, phone calls, and Facebook posts bashing Molly Forthright’s “For What It’s Worth” advice column in the March issue of Fort Worth Magazine.

“I was in church last Sunday, and a woman in the row ahead of me began breastfeeding halfway through the service,” said the person seeking advice in the article. “I’m a big proponent of women breastfeeding their babies, but it was very distracting during a time that I wanted to focus on the sermon … What is proper church etiquette?”

How did the columnist respond?

“Ick. I know that many think a woman providing nourishment to her baby is a beautiful and natural thing, but putting on a show in the house of the Lord is unacceptable in my book,” Forthright replied. “In fact, I can’t think of a place in public where I would want to ever see that.”

The fallout from breastfeeding-gate brought a threat of a nurse-in outside the magazine’s headquarters in Fort Worth.

It is not clear the circumstances surrounding breastfeeding in this church. As a pastor, I don’t have a problem with breastfeeding in church. Moms have fed their children in my church. Usually, moms are pretty discreet about it.  Our church features comfortable “gliders” for nursing moms.  I can only imagine in Jesus’ day, when moms were in the temple, mothers had to breastfeed when their baby was hungry. I see breastfeeding in church as a mom doing what moms do.

What do you think? Is breastfeeding in church what mothers should do? Or, thou shall not breastfeed in thy church? 

Comment using Facebook below or use the comment section at the bottom of this post.

Facebook, social media

Yo Facebook, are you losing it?

Facebook started as a college student sharing site. It was new. It was edgy. It was young. It was better than Myspace. Now your mom, dad, and grandma are already your ‘friends’. That’s not cool according to some young people. Young people are jumping ship for Snapchat and Tumblr. Those social media networks are not usually frequented by parents.

As Facebook rolls out new News Feed features, the social media site wants to stay ‘hip’:

The changes unveiled Thursday are an attempt to address complaints that Facebook’s hub — the News Feed — is degenerating into a jumble of monotonous musings and disjointed pictures. This has come as users’ social circles have widened from a few dozen people to an unwieldy assortment of friends, family, businesses, celebrities, co-workers and fleeting acquaintances.

Time published a story about Facebook’s ebbing appeal. A number of teens were interviewed:

Other sites, like the microblogging site Tumblr, offer more opportunity for creative expression with less prying parental eyes. “The reason we like it so much is because not everyone has one,” Steed says of Tumblr, which is very popular among girls at her high school. “You can almost disguise yourself. Not everyone’s on there, not everyone’s stalking you.” Snapchat, meanwhile, offers spontaneity and instant gratification, though one student said it’s more of a game than a legitimate Facebook alternative.

The new features will start rolling out in the next few weeks. A select group of users are currently testing the new News Feed. If you are interested in the new features, Mashable has a good review.

With 1 billion users, Facebook proudly proclaims their global reach. But, Facebook wants to make money. And that may not be cool for young users. One way Facebook will make money is with inserting ads that look like pictures in your feed:

Zuckerberg explained during his brief remarks at the announcement, Facebook’s users love photos so much that photo posts now take up some 50 percent of the current News Feed. It’s a smart trick, making the ads look like photos posts in the new feed. Because not only do Facebook users look at photos and post photos more than they do anything else on Facebook, but the giant images also happen to increase the most engagement, a source told AllthingsD’s Mike Issac.

However, some think that Facebook could crash. Bianca Bosk the Executive Tech Editor at The Huffington Post, thinks Facebook could be growing towards its end:

Social media researchers have long warned that Facebook users may be turned off by the site’s “context collapse,” with a person’s disparate social circles melded into a single audience of “friends.” The latest incarnation of News Feed suggests users, and Facebook, should be wary of a related phenomenon: the content collapse.

It seems Facebook’s coolness factor is going down while trying to keep the profits up. It’s hard to stay cool when your goal is to make money in the tech world.

Culture, social media

Best part of ‘The Bible’ was on social media

I really was not expecting much from The History Channel’s “The Bible” but it made for some interesting discussion on social media. Folks on Facebook and Twitter really had fun with the ‘epic’ story.

Many hailed “The Bible” as on par with “The Lord of the Rings”. It wasn’t. One reviewer said, “It has a huge budget, so expect polish and high drama in the mould of historical epics like Game of Thrones. There will be violence. There will be deception. There will be fire.” Well, maybe it wasn’t that epic.

“The Bible” was good. I enjoyed it. I had low expectations. But, this was a History Channel production. I quickly realized that if you want to tell the story of The Bible, you have to have characters like Noah narrating Genesis 1 & 2. You have to take some liberties. Angels fighting with jujitsu, for one. But, the writers managed to make sure Lot’s wife was turned into a pillar of salt. With a $22 million budget, you can’t make everything happen.

For “The Bible” didn’t do, it did achieve something notable. Social media sites like Twitter and Facebook were afire with comments. Here’s a few from Twitter:

http://twitter.com/ChristopheSaqff/status/308388380180361216

Social Media provided the laughs and the show provided the fuel. I’ll keep watching the series, but I think you should check out what is being talked about on social media. Follow me on Twitter for some pithy quotes and witty comments.

Christianity

How not to vote on Election Day

Alas, my Facebook and Twitter feeds are blowing up with political jabs that mostly rely on ad-hominem attacks that play into people’s confirmation bias of a candidate.

No candidate is immune from a little ad-hominem attack against their opponent. Unfortunately, some voters like and even enjoy when Facebook posts, media stories, or social pictures vilify a political candidate. And unfortunately, some of these voters call themselves Christians who create or share these messages. Some Christians think they are doing their duty to pass along these ugly messages.

It is really disheartening to see such poor treatment of those who differ in political ideology. My perspective on this election is not about me telling you who you should vote for, but how not to vote: Continue Reading…

On Facebook