death

trauma

How to talk to kids about trauma

Credit: Yahoo.com

As the country saw the horrific bombings at the 2013 Boston Marathon on television, we learned that there were adult and child victims. Television crews and photographers were at the finish of the race and they captured the raw footage. Every news channel covered the carnage and trauma. There was blood, smoke, yelling, death, and fear.

As we Americans experience the 24-hour news cycle of this deadly event, our children will hear about the Boston Marathon. Kids will talk about it in school and talk about what they saw on television. We adults are able to respond in healthy ways, but what about children? How are we to talk to children about traumatic events?

Keep Calm. Younger children may not hear much or anything about the trauma but keep to your family routine. Kids will look to adults and parents on how to act. If you act different children will see it. Older children might have seen the trauma on television and they will observe if their parents are freaking out about it. If possible, turn off the television and keep children focused on regular activities: games, bike riding, homework, sports, music etc… Your ability to keep calm will help your kids.

Listen. Children may have questions. Leave time to listen to their concerns. Children may ask, “Will this happen to me?” Or, “Will this happen again?”. The important thing to remember is to give children your attention and not to avoid the subject.

Respond. Do not lie to children about what happened. Keep it simple. Focus on the basic facts of the trauma. In Boston, for instance, say that someone hurt a group of people during an event. Continue to share with children how much they are loved and how they are safe from the perspective trauma. Tell them that good leaders take care of people when people are hurt (doctors, police, firefighters, etc…). Remind children that we take care of one another.

Empower. Older children can learn from the trauma. Remind and tell the stories of heroism. Encourage your kids to help others when in trouble. Teach them how to call 911 when needed. When some time has passed from the trauma, have your family practice what to do when someone needs help.

How to talk to kids about trauma is extremely important. Adults should not avoid the topic but reinforce how much children are loved and that they are safe. Evil is in the world but we are called to vanquish evil with the light of God and the goodness we can bring to those in need.

Church Leadership

Robert Griffin III, the Redskins, and dying churches

It was awful. It was embarrassing. I couldn’t watch it anymore.

My team, the Washington Redskins had started a good fight against the Seattle Seahawks on Sunday night football. The Redskins came out strong and scored 14 points quickly. My team was looking like they were a sure win to continue into the NFL playoffs with strong momentum. I was hopefully that my Redskins were going to taste a Super Bowl after 20 years.

And then, a Redskins fans greatest fear came to reality.

Robert Griffin III our star rookie quarterback, who was not 100% healthy, sustained hit after hit and injury after injury. Mean while, the Seahawks put together a multi-quarter drive to put points on the score board. As it happened, RG3, became weaker and weaker. His passes were ineffective and his signature running game was just a limb jog to the sideline.

Ugh. It was like watching a train wreck slowly.

“Is anyone going to do anything about RG3!?!” I yelled at the TV.

Passes were misfired, plays were broken up, and interceptions occurred. The play-maker for the Redskins was hurt and no one seemed to do anything about it. Finally, the game was lost.

Immediately, fingers start to point as to who was responsible for RG3’s unhealthy play. It was the coach. It was RG3. It was the team doctor. The list went on. It seems that the team leadership was simply concerned about winning and not about the long term health of the quarterback

How could this happen?

Israel Trip

Israel Day Five (Part II): The Old City

We departed from the Tent of Nations and went to the Old City section in Jerusalem. We traveled through a maze of covered and partly covered streets to make our way to a number of Holy Sites.

The first stop we made was to the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, which is said to be the place where Jesus was crucified and buried.

Entering the Church of the Holy Sepulcher

The recent conflict between Palestinians and Israelis left many of the Holy Sites to be easily accessed because the conflict scared many away. It was very safe. As you walked into the church, at the top of the stairs, there was a small line to see the traditional death place of Jesus. You must bend down to touch the marker of the crucifixion. There is a glass floor over the rock where Jesus was killed.

A stairway leads to Calvary (Golgotha) site.

Next, we walked down the stairs. As you come back to the first level, there was an amazing mosaic of the burial of Jesus:

Beside this huge mosaic, is the Stone of Anointing – said to be the place where Jesus’ body was prepared for burial:

Again, because of the low crowd factor, we decided to stand in a short line to see the tomb of Jesus. But the tomb isn’t what you think it might be. The tomb, said to be Jesus’, is encased in this huge wooded structure call The Edicule. The structure has two rooms. The first holds The Angel’s Stone, said to be a fragment of the stone from the sealing of the tomb after Jesus’ burial. The second room is the tomb itself. Both these rooms are very small and dark.

You are not allowed to take pictures and only candles light the rooms. As I entered the second room, the tomb room, I thought to myself the likelihood of this rock as the tomb of Jesus. I thought it was odd that Jesus’ death and burial sites were so close. Despite this, I prayed. There are several priests outside that ensure that the line moves quickly. You only have about 10-15 seconds to be in the tomb room. Nevertheless, it was a very cool experience. You can see a 360 view of the structure here.

Next, we went directly to the Western Wall or the Wailing Wall. The wall is as close as Christians and Jews can get to the original Temple site. As I stood in the temple plaza, my brain was taking in all the sights. Hundreds of Jews praying at the Wall.

It is crazy to think that you are touching Herod’s outer Temple wall. Those stones (the large ones) have been around for 2,000 years. As the Sabbath drew near, we watched Jews rushing around to get things done before the Sabbath since no work is permitted.

We ended our day with Michelle and Natanel Cohen, who are a part of a group called Shabbat of a Lifetime. We traveled to their home and they led us in a traditional home Shabbat dinner. We joined in the liturgy and ate a wonderful meal. We learned about customs, beliefs, and history of the Shabbat.

Israel Trip Day 1 – Day 2 – Day 3 – Day 4 – Day 5 part I – Day 5 part II – Day 6 – Day 7 – Day 8

Jesus

Round up of Jesus’ wife controversy comments

Here’s a round up of thoughts on the scrap of pyprus that refered to Jesus’ wife:

Stephen Prothero, Boston University religion scholar and author, CNN Belief Blog:

What we do know is that we live in a country besotted with Jesus and in an age obsessed with marriage and sexuality and the body, which is why this tiny papyrus is making such big waves. As for me, I don’t much care what Jesus thought about marriage, or whether he engaged in it. I think we as a society tend to collapse religion far too readily into bedroom questions, as if Jesus came into the world to tell us with whom we should be having sex, and how. I’m more interested in what Jesus has to say about wealth and poverty, the rich and the poor. And there is plenty in the available record to read and heed, “if only we have ears to hear.”

Steven R. Harmon, professor Gardner-Webb University School of Divinity and author, Associate Baptist Press News Blog:

The celibacy of Jesus is not essential to Christology, just as Jesus’ maleness is not essential to Christology… The particularities of Jesus’ historical existence are representative of the totality of human experience, from birth through death and resurrection, even if they do not reflect the particularities of every human being’s experiences… Theologically, for Jesus to have been married would not require us to re-think historic Christological doctrine. But historically, there is not sufficient evidence to suppose that he was–even if the best interpretation of this fragment is that Jesus therein is referring to a woman named Mary as his “wife” in the usual sense of that word.

Stephen Colbert, The Daily Show, via LA Times:

Maundy Thursday

Why we call it Maundy Thursday

Today is Maundy Thursday — no, not Monday Thursday, which would be an interesting concept: society could work Monday through Thursday, with Fridays off! Some Christians misunderstand that this day is only a “Catholic” celebration. Christians both ancient and modern have remembered Christ’s last supper with his disciples on Maundy Thursday, which begins the great triduum, the three days of the paschal celebration.

The word “maundy” comes from the Latin word maundatum for “commandment”, which comes from Jesus’ words from the last supper: “I give you a new commandment; that you love one another…” The full Latin phase is maundatum novarum, which means “a new commandment.” According to Robert Webber (The Services of the Christian Year, #252), these words were translated in the French word mande. This in turn was anglicized into “maundy.”

During this day, Christians celebrate Jesus’ last supper with his disciples through serving and receiving communion with a special service. Often, all of or some of John 13 is read. This scripture recalls: Continue Reading…

Halloween, new

7 Reasons why a Christian can celebrate (and remake) Halloween

Can there be a Christian Halloween? Can a Christian celebrate Halloween, which honors ghouls, demons, ghosts, and everything that goes bump in the night dangerous or even evil?

Somewhere, in the halls of history, Halloween or All Hallows Eve, got hijacked. What started as a day to prepare for All Saints’ Day (November 1st), Halloween became a spooky, evil, and candy filled observance. The term “Halloween” from its beginnings, had nothing to do with any pagan or evil beliefs. The Christian festival All Hallows Eve morphed into our current term Hallowe’en.

The key in understanding of the origins of the term Halloween comes from the sense of what is “hallowed” or “holy”. In the Lord’s Prayer, Christians pray, “Our Father, in heaven, hallowed be your name…” In the fourth century, John Chrysostom tells us that the Eastern church celebrated a festival in honor of all saints who died. In the seventh and eighth centuries, Christians celebrated “All Saints’ Day” formally.

How did Halloween become associated with evil spirits? When we look at history we discover:

More than a thousand years ago Christians confronted pagan rites appeasing the lord of death and evil spirits… the druids, in what is now Britain and France, observed the end of summer with sacrifices to the gods. It was the beginning of the Celtic year, and they believed Samhain, the lord of death, sent evil spirits abroad to attack humans, who could escape only by assuming disguises and looking like evil spirits themselves. The waning of the sun and the approach of dark winter made the evil spirits rejoice and play nasty tricks.

If the Christian observance of Halloween began with a religious focus, how can we reclaim and celebrate Halloween from its current feared status? Here are 7 ways Christians can take back Halloween:

death

From Depression to Declaration

Have you ever been to a funeral in New Orleans? Or, at least seen one? It is a very different experience because of the cultural understanding of grief, death, and suffering. The experience is truly unique. Rev. Dr. Kimberleigh Buchanan on her blog has a good description:

The brass band begins its solemn procession at the church, playing hymns like “Free as a Bird” and “Just a Closer Walk with Thee”-no improvisation, no frills. Nothing but sadness blown low and blue to the beat of a muted snare drum.

Once the procession arrives at the cemetery, though, after the final words are spoken and the body is lowered into the ground, the mood shifts. Brightly festooned umbrellas burst open, the snare drummer removes his mute, and the funeral procession heads back into town to the raucous strains of “Didn’t He Ramble?” and “When the Saints Go Marching In.” Folks who heard the somber hymns earlier in the day wait for the procession’s return…because they know a celebration’s coming…and no one in New Orleans wants to miss the funeral celebration.

Why all the celebration for death?

prayer

Mother’s Day Prayer

Prayer for Mothers

Leader: Mothers come in diverse portraits, and today we celebrate the gifts of the spirit we readily observe in these portraits.

All: Thank God for mothers!

Leader: Each of us is a son or a daughter.

All: Thank God for my mother!

Leader: For women who have gone before us and left us legacies of love, endurance, and inspiration.

All: Thank God for the women we commemorate in our hearts and lives.

Leader: For every woman currently working to nurture, teach, and love her children.

All: Thank God for the mothers of today.

Leader: For women who have made children their own through adoption or foster care.

All: Thank God for women who know motherhood is unbounded.

Leader: For women who mourn the death of a child.

All: Thank God for grieving mothers who depend on God’s love.

Leader: For all women, with or without children, who have extended their gifts of nurture and affirmation to members of their communities.

All: Thank God for women who are mothers by heart! We thank you, Lord, for women who have influenced our lives in so many ways.

Mother’s Day Prayer

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