Christian marriage

blog, marriage

Al & Tipper Gore: An Inconvenient Marriage?

I’m sure by now every one has heard of Al & Tipper Gore’s separation. The former vice president and his wife have publicly said,

“This is very much a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together following a process of long and careful consideration,”

While divorce or separation of couples after 40 year of marriage is rare (in fact less than 1% of couples divorce after 40 years), it makes us wonder why such a couple would separate? The typical responses come to mind: They are such a happy couple. They have been together for so long. They have been through so much! Remember the “Convention Kiss of 2000?”

Writing about the Gores, Ellen McCarthy at the Washington Post said it well:

They’re like the couple down the block with the lush garden and the annual Labor Day cookout. The pair who are always power walking together and drinking wine on the front porch, who make you nudge your husband and say, “See? I want that.”

However, I was absolutely shocked at what I read next in McCarthy’s article:

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Jon Gosselin, Please Stop!

As I mentioned before, I was very hopeful that Jon and Kate Gosselin would patch things up, but things have certainly gotten worse since Jon and Kate have split. The media circus has heighten the tension of the conflict between Jon and Kate. Despite Jon’s disclosure of seeking a “higher power” the relationship between him and his family is almost at a point of no return. The girlfriends of Jon, other “reality celebrities”, and the media have virtually wrecked any chance of reconciliation. I cringe every time Jon says, “I’m just here for my kids… I love them.” If he truly loved his kids then he would not engage in activities or conflicts that bring the worst out of the couple. Kate has admitted to her own issues, but Jon’s are more public.

In a strange development, Jon was planning a show with “Octo Mom”:

There were terrible, terrible rumors going around that Jon Gosselin and Octomom Nadya Suleman were going to have their own reality show entitled, Jon – Kate = Jon + Octomom. However, Jon has had time to have a long, hard think about this career decision and has come up with the surprising decision to opt against famewhoring.

You got to be kidding me. I think it is a little late for cashing in on his family’s publicity. However, one silver-lining could be the fact that Jon now has “spiritual advisers”:

afeature, marriage

Does God Promise You a Spouse?

Does God promise you a spouse in the Bible?

...that was the question that Rob Eagar over at thelife.com proposed recently. His post tried to answer this question in the affirmative. Many evangelicals through the years have often painted a picture that God promises a spouse to all believers. Except there is one problem, no where in scripture does God make this promise.

Eagar said:

Does God promise us a spouse? The Bible says “yes” by describing Christians as the spiritual bride of Christ. Our true spouse is Jesus. Yet, many of us say, “I’m glad to be spiritually married to Christ, but I can’t feel Him. Wouldn’t it be better if I could enjoy God’s love with someone else? I want Jesus with skin on.” So, we pray for God to bring us an earthly mate.

This type of theology has created a generation of frustrated Christian singles. No where in scripture does God promise a wife or husband to a believer on the sole basis that they are a Christian. Christians are not the spiritual bride of Christ. The spiritual bride of Christ is the Church (ecclesia). Some would say Christians make up the church, thus Christ is our bride. Maybe (that is pretty loose theology), but not in the erotic sense. However, scripture is clear where we get this “bridal theology” from, such as Ephesians 5:25:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Here, Paul speaks about the love that exists between a husband and wife and mirrors that love in non-erotic language (Paul uses agapate to describe this love) to describe the relationship between the Church and Jesus. Agnieszka Tennant, writing for CT, posted this article about the over use of love language with Christ. Her most telling quote reveals the trouble with the over use of the love language of God:

Weddings

Christian "Wedding Crashers"

(I use the term “Christian Wedding Crashers” as a tongue and cheek way of referring to those people who are not typical church member seeking marriage. Please do not be offended. This is a light hearted term that some Christians have used for this situation. I do not believe these people are really crashing a wedding. Please keep reading. )

“What an awesome wedding! You did a great job. You opened new doors for us into Christianity.” – is the comment that I heard from a wedding I once officiated. Over the years, I have been conflicted by couples who come into my office asking me to officiate their wedding. Normally, I have no problem doing a wedding for a church member or Christians who do not have a church home. What has been a growing trend for a number of pastors, including myself, is what to do with non-Christian weddings?

Many Christians have been troubled with what to do with Christian “wedding crashers”, which are those people (who some Christians deem to be conflictual) who do not meet the “typical Christian” engagement period. The typical Christian premarital situation looks like this:

Wedding

Is This A Holy Wedding?

Watch this wedding processional… it received over 1 million hits on youtube when I watched it on Friday. Now, it has received over 8 million hits. It is most likely something you have never seen at a wedding.

This video is also here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0&feature=player_embedded

Most people would watch this video and point out that this is a creative and joyful way to have a wedding processional. The Washington Post has written an article discussing this video. Some Christians might believe that this wedding processional is a mockery of the wedding ceremony. In an age where marriage is being redefined by culture, this video does not seem outrageous. I am conflicted about this wedding video. Let me explain.

Dance has been a universal act of joy in almost every culture through the ages. King David danced before God with all his might in joyful celebration when the Ark of the Covenant was brought into the assembly of Israel in 2 Samuel. Obviously, David did not dance with sunglasses on. Thus, these two dances are different. The dancing done in the video was well planned. This wedding party was expressing their joy of two people in marriage.

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Why I am Going to Watch Jon and Kate Plus 8

UPDATE: Jon and Kate filled for divorce. I wonder if they tried counseling. From the looks of the editing in the episode, Jon and Kate cannot come to an agreement. It seems that ” trying to do the best thing for their kids” does not include trying to save their marriage.

I have resisted blogging about “Jon and Kate Plus 8“, which is the show about Jon and Kate Gosselin and their 8 children, because it has been the “hot” celebrity news item. I try not to give any attention to “celebrity news” because it is not real news. The Jon and Kate story is news worthy on this blog because they are professed Christians and their situation is putting Christianity to the test in the eyes of secular viewers. Part of the show contains scenes of the family going to church, memorizing scripture, and reading Bible stories. Recently, the couple has gone through a dark time in their relationship, which has made news in just about every news outlet. Allegations of infidelity have plagued the show since the start of season 5. Questions have been raised regarding the couple staying together.

Tonight’s episode is billed as TLC’s most shocking show announcement, which many think will include the couple divorcing or ending the show. Many of my friends who are Christians have found themselves in conversation about Jon and Kate and wondering, “What would I do if I were in the situation.” News outlets have also been talking about how America is watching this train wreck but cannot look away. There have been reports that Jon has been looking for an apartment in NYC. This show has gone from entertainment to the guilty pleasure of watching a family being torn away from each other. This family does not need to go through anymore drama, but that is what you sign up for when you do a reality show in your kitchen. Their children will no doubt watch the show when they are older and be changed for it.

Al & Tipper Gore: An Inconvenient Marriage?

Jon Gosselin, Please Stop!

Does God Promise You a Spouse?

Christian "Wedding Crashers"

Is This A Holy Wedding?

Why I am Going to Watch Jon and Kate Plus 8

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