Much of what we pastors do is to minister, care, support, and uplift the people in our congregations and community. We go through college and graduate school (seminary) and learn the basics of sociology, psychology, and therapy. We pastors walk with people through depression, grief, and death.
Through all those hours, days, weeks, and years of care-giving, what happens when we pastors need a pastor? Who will be the care-giver to the care-giver? Who will be the pastor to a pastor?
I recently posted an Baptist News Global article, written by Jeff Brumbly, on Facebook with some startling statistics for pastors:
- 33% say being in ministry is “an outright hazard” to their families.
- 75% experience “severe stress causing anguish, worry, bewilderment, anger, depression, fear and alienation” during their careers.
- Ministers join doctors and attorneys among those with the highest rates of addiction and suicide
- Some statistics show that 50% will drop out of vocational ministry within their first 5 years
As churches face decline in attendance, interest, and donations, people naturally turn the pressure on clergy to address these concerns. The reality is that ever since 1968, church attendance among mainline churches has been in decline. As the budgets tighten and few people are left to run the church, pastoral demands have increased. Pastoral anxiety is at an all time high.
I was once faced with a painful dilemma in church as a pastor. This situation had gone on for almost a year and I had exhausted my energy, care, and support to a particular person. I had reached my captivity as a pastor and encouraged this individual to seek additional help. I do not have the education to be a professional therapist. However, this individual needed more than spiritual care, they needed medical care. My inability to “be everything” for this person had weighed on me so badly I was crushed by their disappointment, anger, and vitriol. In this person’s mind, I failed to “save” and “protect” them from their stress. I had become a fixation of blame and anger.
I started to doubt myself with questions like “Am I really called to be a pastor?” and “Am I effective a enough for church ministry?”
As a pastor, it is challenging to find encouragement on dark days. Often, pastors are lone riders in their journey of ministry and that is not a good thing. Saint John of the Cross wrote a poem entitled, “The Dark Night of the Soul“. The poem describes the journey of the soul to God through struggles and trials, but ultimately growing closer to God.
I was definitely going through a “dark night of the soul”.
Thankfully, as I turned to other friends who are ministers, they were a pastor to me. They listened, prayed, and talked with me. In that moment, they were not just friends, they were pastors to me in time where I needed a pastor. My pastors helped me to see the situation and to respond in the healthiest way possible. My pastors were able to help me realize my limitations and that as pastors we cannot be all things to all people. We are not God. We are human. I was able to go through my “dark night of the soul” and grew closer to God.
Pastors and ministers cannot continue down the ministerial journey alone. Those of us in vocational ministry must resist the urge to forge ahead into the wild world of 21st ministry without a pastor by our side. To go at it alone will only leave us pastors burned-out, miserable, and self-destructive.
No Comments