A few years ago, I went to visit a church member at a hospital. I decided to wear a clerical collar to the hospital because I was going into the ICU, which was an ICU I had never been to before. Often, it is easier to wear a collar at a hospital because it cuts down of the identification questions and it also allows me some professional courtesies. Believe it or not, I get some strange looks when I tell people I am a pastor. They say, “You are so young. You don’t look like a pastor.” I reply, “What does a pastor look like then?” You can image the time I have to spend explaining myself. Does a doctor, police officer, fireman/firewoman, or teacher have to explain themselves? (That is a topic for another blog post). Sure, I love to interact with people, but getting the stink eye from Nurse Ratched and being interrogated is not the most pleasant experience.
After the visit, I got into my car and started to drive back to the church office. As I was driving, I stopped at the light to get on the highway. There was a homeless man there with a sign asking for money and walking up the line of cars. I decided not to give the man any money because I preferably do not like to give someone money and leave. I would rather spend time with someone. It is unfortunate that this man had to resort to asking for money at a stoplight, but I felt I was at a disadvantaged because I was not in a position to help him holistically. When the man passed my car, I did not roll my window down. Seeing my collar, the man became irate and started shouting at me.
I could not understand him because he was slurring his words as he stumbled towards my car. I stood still and waited for the light change as I felt uncomfortable about the situation. I drove away when the light turned green. Clearly, the man was upset because I was clergy and he felt I should have given him money. Whenever I encounter a beggar or someone asking for money, I often conflicted about giving money. There are people out there who ask for money to support their drug habits and there are those who genuinely need money to eat for the day. Most often, the homeless or economically disadvantaged, ask for money for food or other necessities. Rather than try to give them money, I provide them with a meal or go and take them to buy whatever they need. What do we do when we encounter people who want to “work the system? In truth, we rather not deal with them. We do not want to get into a conflict with them.
In Mark chapter 7, Jesus is in a conflict with a women of questionable status:
26Now the woman was a Gentile, of Syrophoenician origin. She begged him to cast the demon out of her daughter. 27He said to her, “Let the children be fed first, for it is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.” 28But she answered him, “Sir, even the dogs under the table eat the children’s crumbs.” 29Then he said to her, “For saying that, you may go—the demon has left your daughter.” 30So she went home, found the child lying on the bed, and the demon gone.
It seems that Jesus initially rebuffs this woman’s attempt at asking for assistance. The “children” Jesus speaks of are the children of Israel. Jesus once told the crowds that he has come for the lost sheep of Israel. Mark echoes this imagery with this story of Jesus’ speaking about “children”. This woman was a Gentile, outside God’s fold. This woman’s persistence was amazing, but if your child was ill wouldn’t you do all in your power to help? Jesus used this moment to teach everyone about the salvific inclusiveness of God outside Israel. Her persistence paid off. Though she was “outside” God’s people, in the religious sense, she was inside the saving power of Christ. She was assertive in what she wanted. Jesus was willing to engage her.
My reluctance to help the homeless man on the side of the road that day made me ask some questions of myself. Do I really do enough to help? Was I offended at this man because of his situation? Did I drive away to avoid the conflict? The story of my encounter with the man by the road and the story of the Syrophoenician woman deal with our reluctance to enter into conflict. We loath conflict. We flee from it. Especially if it involves the homeless or the undesirables. We rather look away. When did conflict become a dirty word? By definition, conflict means that two parties have opposing opinions. Jesus decided to engage the woman and her circumstance. Unfortunately, I did not want to engage the man on the road. I fled from the conflict. I did not want to deal with his issues, his problems, and his poverty. I wanted to engage him on my terms, my ways, and my environment. I was selfish.
The reason why we do not relate well to the poor is because we do not want to meet them at their level. We do not want to engage them, so we flee. When we run into conflict in our lives we are selfish to think that we must engage people on our terms, and not theirs. We must learn that conflict does not have to be a negative thing. Conflict can become a discussion that leads to a problem getting solved. Jesus’ conflict with the woman turned out to be a good thing. It led to her daughter being healed.
Next time you see conflict coming do not flee it. Embrace it. Listen. Think. Act. Especially, if it involves people in need.
Pentecost 14b
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